What About Your Friends?

Dear E. Jean: In an all-female get-together, is it appropriate to hug only the ones you feel closest with and say “hello” to the others? Or should I hug them all so nobody feels rejected? This may seem like a stupid question, but I’m not American and feel insecure sometimes in social or business meetings.
—Faux Paulette

Miss Faux, my flower box: I personally like to walk into a room, throw my arms around any woman who looks better than I, and ruffle her hair. On the other hand, if I’m already in the room and a female friend I know enters, I screech, hurl my glass of champagne into the fireplace, and embrace her with both arms, and sometimes one leg, depending on the height of my heels. These are my only two rules. For you, however, it is less complicated: Hug it out with everyone you feel like hugging (except your boss), and shake hands affectionately with those you don’t.


Ok, ladies we all know E. Jean is the ultimate lady (E. Jean is the knower of all things social), however American or not, all-female get-together or not, we ladies have our way of greeting the ones we feel closest to and the “others”. Let’s break this down…

1.Your BFF’s: like E. Jean says we will scream loudly, hurl our glasses of champagne into the fireplace (those of you who know me best know that I will NEVER dispose of champagne anywhere except my tummy, so don’t take offense if I skip this part when I see you), and embrace her with both arms and sometimes one leg, depending on the height of our heels.

2.Then there is your “resident friend”: the resident friend(s) are the friends you call on as “fillers” when you want a well rounded cocktail party or even a girl’s night out. You will usually meet them out or have them over and at the end of the night you say your good-byes and the proverbial “I’ll call you later” (and you usually never do) and everyone goes their separate ways. These friends you don’t talk too often and you usually don’t confide in them, it’s all about generalities.

3.The “pest friend” according to urbandictionary.com is like a best friend but all they do is annoy you and are very hard to get rid of. Unfortunately bug spray will not help you get rid of them. I do agree with the definition however I would exclude the “like a best friend” part. Just because you occasionally talk (and I don’t mean spilling your guts to them) and hang out does not define one as a best friend. And I find that “pest friends” usually invite themselves out with you or ask you to go places and do things with them when you rather decline and say, “not a chance” but being the lady you are you indulge them. Everybody needs somebody…not just you.

4.Then there are the “others” you see them in social settings and maybe out shopping or some other activity (6 degrees of separation is a bitch). With these ladies you (possibly) share cordial hellos and if you’re really trying to ham it up, a hug. A lot of time as soon as you can you might say some not nice things (don’t pretend like you’ve never done it). And there are the “others” who could slip on a patch of ice in your face and you acknowledge the fall and keep walking, not that that’s a ladylike thing to do but really, would she help you? Now, if you have read my early posts you would be saying, “If that was to happen shouldn’t I kill them with Hater Potion?” Of course you should but sometimes that takes too much effort and it’s easier to keep walking (LMAO), we all need a laugh once in awhile. While I don’t condone mean spirited behavior a slip here and there (no pun intended) won’t hurt anyone, we’re only human.

Look, when it comes to friendship we humans only have the mind capacity to remember about six birthdays, three full telephone numbers and one full address (usually your own) and everything else is on our Blackberry’s and iPhones. I’m not saying you should prune out your circle of friends but remember that everyone is not a friend and keep it real, you cannot like everyone and everyone is not meant to be your friend. If anything your BFF’s will be the ones that pick up from O’Hare, LaGuardia, BWI with all five pieces of your luggage or drive great distances for your wedding, birthday (including kids) or any other friend related emergency or event.